Stuck in a Rut

I've had a creative block for a while now.  At the moment, it doesn't feel like it's ever going to go away.  I wish I could figure out what has caused it.  I wish I could figure out how to make it go away.  But I sit at my bench and just STARE...

I know part of it is personal.  I want something that I can't really put my finger on.  Change.  Something to happen.  A door to open.  Maybe even one slamming shut.  Anything to jolt me out of the everyday rut that I'm in.

My children are growing up.  One is 21.  He was going to college to be an engineer, but has decided to "take some time off".  Gosh, I hope he goes back! My other one is 18.  He's a senior in high school.  He wants to be a Marine.  He plans to leave in the fall. My babies are leaving me...

So maybe part of my problem is that even though my people need me, they really don't.  They're making decisions for themselves. They're on their way out the door.  I'm in a totally new situation.  I can do whatever I'd like to do.  And I don't know what that is. This should make me happy, right?  So why do I feel like I'm in limbo?

I'm signed up to take a class.  It's a jewelry casting class.  It's intended as a beginner class, but I've cast before, so it will be a much needed refresher class for me.  I'm hoping that being around other artists will be like it was in college.  That we'll inspire each other, and my creative juices will start flowing again. 

I'm also working out every day.  I figure that if I can't accomplish anything at my bench, at least I can work on myself.  I might even try to get certified to be a cycling instructor.  Who knows?  That might be a good change.

So now I need ideas.  What can I do to get out of my rut?  Do any of you have any ideas on what might help me become inspired again?  I'd love your ideas, if you have any for me. 

Self-Examination Time!

I just found this great article that has caused me to look at how I might look to other people.  Not physically!  I mean my behaviors!  I think I need to take a good look at how I react to things, and do my best to NOT mimic the behaviors mentioned in this article.  I think it might be hard to do!  The article is called: 

6 Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away: How To Recognize Them In Yourself and Change Them

 I know!  Scary, huh? You can click on the title to read the article.  Try not to take it personally!

O, Christmas Tree!

A few weeks ago, my boss decided to have a contest and asked all of us to write, in fifty words or less, what Christmas meant to us. Well, I went over, of course, because I can't abbreviate ANYTHING. But it did get me thinking. What DID Christmas mean to me?

She asked this a day or two before we bought our Christmas tree. I love a live tree, so that's what we get every year. It's messy, it drops needles, as well as ornaments, as it slowly wilts. But there's nothing like the smell of it, or each tree's uniqueness.

As I started decorating I think about our life. Our Christmas tree tells the story of our lives. Decorating the tree reminds me of EVERYTHING we've gone through. There are the ornaments on the tree that I made for my parents in preschool. There are ornaments that my kids made for me and my husband in preschool. There are the ornaments that my husband and I bought our first year of marriage at the dollar store, when we were terribly poor. There's the ornament that my grandmother made for our family when I was little and it makes me miss her. There are the photo ornaments of my children as babies with their toothless grins, and I have to smile.

Now, when we go on vacation, one of the souvenirs that I try to always bring back with us is a Christmas ornament. That helps us keep the memories of that trip alive. We have countless ornaments from Disney World. There's a crawdad with a crown and mardi gras beads from New Orleans as a reminder of the one and only trip my husband and I took by ourselves after we had kids. This year we took a cruise to Mexico, and I didn't find any ornaments while on the trip, but while I was Christmas shopping I did buy us a burro pinata ornament to remind us of the trip.

There are also the ornaments that just remind us of everyday life. The black lab ornament for Molly, the chocolate lab ornament for Hershey, the cat for both cats. We have a Santa constuction company ornament with Santa in a hard hat on a steel beam for the house we built in the Outer Banks. The fish ornament my best friend in the Outer Banks gave me. Almost all of our ornaments mean something to us.

I really don't understand how people can just decorate their tree to look pretty. Our Christmas tree is our time to reflect. It reminds us of where we've been. I'm hoping to pass down the tradition to my boys. I've already started to separate some ornaments out for them to use on their own trees, though we have a few years before they'll have their own trees. But my wish for them is that at least once a year, they remember their lives when they were children, and how much we love them. And that they pass it on to their children.

Now it's time to take the Christmas tree down. That will stir up all those wonderful memories again. I guess that makes it twice a year that it stirs up memories! That's what Christmas is all about. Happy remembering!

January

January is a weird month. It makes me think about all the things I didn't get done in the previous year. It makes me think ahead to all that I want to get done this year. It makes me want to clean up and clean out. I end up going through drawers that I haven't checked in months. I even went into my children's rooms and took out all the baby stuff that they haven't played with in years.

What is it about January that makes me do all this? Perhaps it's the clean slate we've just been given. Maybe it's just all the regrets from the past year. I didn't get anywhere near as much done last year as I thought I would. I STILL haven't finished painting the inside of my house, and we've been here almost 5 years! There are still leaves to rake! Household repairs that haven't been made! That's not even including all the cleaning that needs to be done daily! It's all so overwhelming!

It's a new year for my business, too. I keep hoping this is the year that I can jump into my business with both feet. I have been trying to juggle a part time job, raising my children, and running my business for the last few years. I'd love to lose the part time job, though I would miss it and the people that I work with there. But the idea of working for myself, making money doing what I love is just so wonderful that I'd love to make it happen. But how?

I have big hopes for the online venues that I have my work on. I plan to do more craft shows this year. But then there's the economy. Jewelry just isn't one of those items that people NEED. When the economy is bad, it hits those "wants" especially hard. I just need to figure out how to make my jewelry a "need"!

So now I'm off to work at my bench, or work on my house, or pay the bills, or clean. The list is endless! But I have a whole year to get it done, right?

Originally posted on January 25, 2010

Vacation!

I'm starting to get VERY excited about our vacation! We are going to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We used to live there, so it's sort of like going home. It's a three hour drive to get there, and the anticipation on the drive down is enough to make me crazy. The final part, by far the most exciting part, is driving over the bridge that's over the Currituck Sound. My eyes start tearing up as soon as I hit the bridge! Hitting the bridge at sunset is the best!
Unfortunately, this trip isn't just a vacation. I have to work for part of it. Bummer. On the plus side, I'll be making money, selling the thing I love to make (jewelry) in the place I love (the Outer Banks).

I'm going to be at the New World Festival of the Arts on Wednesday and Thursday, August 12th and 13th. This is a wonderful craft show in a beautiful location, the Manteo, NC waterfront. This show is always a gamble. It's right on the water, which makes for cooler breezes, but it also tends to make the breezes a bit unpredictable. I have had to stand on one edge of my tent and hold it down with all my strenghth before! Talk about exciting! There is also, almost always, a storm that blows through at some point during the two days. I am crossing my fingers that it won't happen this year! If you're there, stop by to see me! My business name is Sandy Toes Jewelry, and I'm supposed to be at space #69.

After the show, I get to focus on my relaxation time. I can't wait! I need this vacation! My husband needs this vacation! I think even my kids need a vacation! My oldest went to summer school this summer. I wish I could say that I feel sorry for him, but it was his own fault. The boy is smarter than he realizes.

I can't wait to hit the beach! We have spent so little time outside this year, we will all definately have to sunscreen up, and we'll probably STILL burn! Once we get out onto the beach, nobody wants to leave until we're starving. One of the things that we learned while we lived at the beach is one of the things that we have forgotten how to do. We have forgotten how to relax! I know this seems like a simple thing to do, but it definately takes practice. I'll be practicing it in the Outer Banks in a very short while. I hope I perfect it!

Originally posted August 3, 2009