Self-Examination Time!

I just found this great article that has caused me to look at how I might look to other people.  Not physically!  I mean my behaviors!  I think I need to take a good look at how I react to things, and do my best to NOT mimic the behaviors mentioned in this article.  I think it might be hard to do!  The article is called: 

6 Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away: How To Recognize Them In Yourself and Change Them

 I know!  Scary, huh? You can click on the title to read the article.  Try not to take it personally!

Treading Lightly Through the Friend Zone

I’m a jeweler.  I have friends that like my jewelry. Every once in a while, I’ll have one who wants me to create something special for them. I love that my friends like my jewelry and want me to make something special for them!  I don’t, however, like to use their stones to create that special item. This is why…

When you create jewelry using stones, you always take a risk that the stone will get cracked, scratched or otherwise ruined.  Setting a stone takes pressure with metal tools.  Metal tools can damage a stone in a split second.  One slip and you’ve just scratched it.  One push just a little too hard on the bezel has just cracked the stone.  If it’s my stone, it’s my loss.  I won’t say it’s no big deal, because it usually is.  Chances are the setting was made specifically for that stone and another stone just won’t fit in it.  So now I have to find another stone and remake the setting.   But if it’s someone else’s stone, I’ve just destroyed something that a friend was attached to enough to want me to create something special with it.  Now I have to find another, and it needs to be a perfect match.  Maybe you’re not even 100% sure of what kind of stone it was, or what replacing it will cost.  What a headache!

Second, there’s pricing the item. I think that most people think that if they go to a friend to do something for them, you’re going to give them the “friend” price.  So you’re expected to cut them a deal on something that you’re already agonizing over.  Great!  Plus, they supplied the stone, so that should knock quite a bit off the price, right?  Wrong!!!  Those of us who create with our hands sometimes do a little fudging.  Sometimes we used the perceived value of our materials to recoup some of the losses we’ve made time-wise.  Most people think we can just wave our magic wand (torch) over the metal to create a beautiful piece.  In reality, we may have had problem after problem crop up, making the piece take twice as long as it should’ve.  We need to make that money up somewhere.  That’s where we hope the beautiful stone looks worth that price, or the amount of metal in a piece makes that piece worth every cent.

Finally, there’s the fact that we really do want our friend to like the piece we’ve just created for them.  What if they don’t like it?  Do they admit they don’t like it?  Or do they just suck it up and pay for it, only to stick it in a drawer, never to be seen again?  If they don’t like it and tell you they don’t like it, will that damage your friendship?  Do they want their stone pulled back out, damaging the setting and destroying the whole piece?  Do you have to buy their stone from them?  But maybe they do like what you’ve done with it.  Great!  That’s excellent news!  But they don’t like the price. Great… now what?  Cut them that deal and get mad at them and yourself for letting them talk you down?  Hold firm to your price and run the risk of them getting mad at you? 

It’s all so hard!  I love when friends see one of my pieces and just have to have it.  The price is right there, the design is already done, and they can take it or leave it.  It’s up to them, and I love it that way!  Please, buy from me, but please don’t ask me to do something with one of your stones.  It’s too much pressure!  I want everyone to be happy with my jewelry, and I certainly don’t want to lose a friend over it!  Sadly, I think maybe it's already happened.

New Year's Resolutions

Well, last year I had every intention of making, and keeping, some New Year's Resolutions.  I never wrote them down, though.  I'm beginning to think that writing them down is the key.  It makes me accountable.  So this year, I'm going to write them down.  Let's see if that doesn't help. Oh, and just for the record, I wrote the majority of this two weeks ago.  So does that make me already behind? 

Number 1- Blog more.  I had every intention of doing it this past year.  It didn't happen.  This year it will!  Hopefully. 
Number 2- Don't be ruled by fear.  I don't want to be afraid to fail.  I don't want to be afraid to succeed.  I don't want fear to rule my world.  I want to teach my kids to not be ruled by fear.  Fear is making us complacent.
Number 3- Take better care of myself.  Eat better.  Work out more.  Get a check-up.  Try to get my family to take better care of themselves, too.  We need to keep each other around for a long time!
Number 4- Find more bench time.  I love spending time at my bench, yet it's one of the last things on my "to do" list.  Why?  It keeps me sane.  My boys need me sane.  My boys WANT me sane!  I want me sane!
Number 5- Be more social.  This kind of goes along with finding more bench time, in that it keeps me sane.  I need to make more time to hang out with friends.  Or just keep up with them.  I miss them!  I hope they miss me!
Number 6- Promote myself. My business really needs some help.  It needs some attention.  I need to start making some serious money at it so I can do what I love and quit doing all the things that are not making me happy.
Number 7- Organize my world.  Oh, my gosh!  My house is a mess.  My workshop is a mess.  My bench is a mess.  The lack of organization is making it very hard to accomplish the things I want to do.
Number 8- Delegate.  I don't live in this house alone.  There are 3 other people who live here with me.  They have hands.  They have brains.  They are able bodied.  They can help!  And they should!  Their future wives are going to kick my butt for not getting them prepared now.  It's my job as a mom!
Number 9- Spend more time with my kids.  They're growing up quickly.  One already has one foot out the door.  I need to cling to them as long as possible, as much as they'll allow me to.  I hope I haven't missed my window...
Number 10- And last, but definately not least, spend more time with my husband. I plan to be with him for the rest of my life.  I want to make sure he knows that.  We need to ditch the kids and just spend time together.  They're going to be moving on before we know it, and I want to make sure my husband and I still know each other.  He is kind of a good guy!